Go Matty Go!

Down With The Sickness

2006-08-11T12:16:00.000+10:00

Wherefore Are Thou, Supermatty?
What? A whole month goes by without Supermatty polluting the web with more completely useless rubbish? Shock! Horror!
As the title of this post suggests, I am sick today* - boooo! Luckily, this gives me the freedom to add more stupidity to my blog - yayyyyy!
TRIVIA POINT: This is my second sick day ever in the history of my employment anywhere! Wowsers!

What Is Thy Ailment?
You might think "wow, if this is Supermatty's second sick day ever, he must really have something bad. I hope he's not dying!" (at least, I might like to think that people might think that way).
Fear not, gentle readers (as if you ever did), for I am not afflicted with the plague. I have simply been feeling more and more run-down lately and have been experiencing persistent headaches for no obvious reason.
I have a lot of work to get done in the next couple of weeks (oh, SO MUCH work) and I can't really afford to get truly sick. Faced with this situation, I've decided to bite the bullet and take it easy for a short time.

Why Is It So?
I'm curious about the headaches, though. Here are a few possibilities I've been turning over in my (aching) mind:

My brain is getting full and it's trying to expand beyond the confines of my skull
The stress of being Supermatty is finally starting to affect my system
The extra responsibility of my new(ish) job is stressful enough to give me brain-pain (kinda boring possibility)
Alien probes are lodged in my cranium (more exciting!)
I was permanently brain-damaged in a high speed collision with a team-mate while playing soccer a month ago, in which I knocked the other guy flat on his back by hitting him in the jaw... WITH MY NOSE** (very ouch for both of us).

I'm hoping it's not number 5. I didn't particularly like my brain before, but at least it wasn't hurting.

It Won't Last (no no no, baby)
In any case, all signs point to my returning to work on Monday. Hopefully the rest period will have done me good and I'll be back to my usual awesome self by then - leaping tall buildings in a single bound, saving babies from burning houses, etc etc.

Have fun, people!

-Supermatty out.

PS: For those who are still wondering, my first sick day ever was yesterday.

*I originally mis-typed this sentence as "I am suck today". I guess that description probably fits the bill just as appropriately :-)

**Don't worry, ladies. My rugged good looks haven't been compromised.
For the record, I didn't run into my team-mate on purpose. I'm not THAT retarded - I was pushed in the back by a dirty opposition player (please note that ALL opposition players are dirty),

In Da Pen Dance

2006-07-05T00:21:00.000+10:00

Hi sports fans...
I guess it's about time I posted another piece of pointless rambling. So, uh...here it is!

Financial Year Brings Telecommunications Traffic To Standstill
Originally I was going to do a hip and happening "New Financial Year Special" last weekend, but oddly enough our home phone line went dead and Australia's most awesomest (*choke*) phone company Telstra decided not to fix it for at least 24 hours - no doubt to take advantage of some crazy new-F-Y tax break that would save them 2 more cents at the expense of their customers' patience.

All Better Now
In any case, I suppose the little repair man eventually did his job because we're back online now... hooray, my flatmate Nick doesn't have to storm about the house in a bad mood because he's suffering from internet withdrawal! Believe me, the relief is palpable.

Without Further Ado
So let's get down to it: with our glorious reconnection to the Interweb fresh in my mind, there's no excuse to put off posting a new 'article' any longer. What better time to exercise my right to free speech than Independence Day? (this is a rhetorical question, please don't answer it.)

Hip Hip Hooray for Independence Day
Yes, it's that time of year again when my American friends (hi guys!) celebrate the fact that in ten years - has it really been that long? - Hollywood still hasn't released a more thoroughly mediocre sci-fi film than Independence Day.
Oh wait a minute, yes they have.
NOTE: At least those other ones were smart enough to have Natalie Portman in them. I propose that we should use Independence Day as a time to reflect and give thanks for Natalie Portman. I know I will.

OK OK, I'd better acknowledge the real reason for Independence Day. Here goes nothing:

1. Setting The Scene
230 odd years ago, as I understand it, this crazy country called England (aka Little Britain) was doing a roaring trade through invading or controlling other countries that had nothing to do with them.
One country they claimed control over at the time was none other than the good old U S of A, which of course wasn't actually called USA back then (I just wanted to say 'U S of A' with the funky coloured text 'n stuff).

2. Stand Up For What You Know Is Right
(or 'Don't Stand Up For What You Think Might Be Wrong')
Naturally, the Americans saw this unacceptable behaviour for what it was: ummm... unacceptable, of course! Duh!
In response, America shunned England by declaring independence from their tyrannical rule and (presumably) vowed never to participate in the kinds of meddling practices that the English were engaged in.

3. Never Forget Why You're Here (and there, and everywhere.)
(or 'Continue To Stand Up For What You Are Pretty Sure You Think You Know May Possibly Be Right')
Since that day in 1776, America has always fiercely protected the spirit of independence and actively set an example for the rest of the world - taking every opportunity it can to remind us that trying to mess with other country's affairs is a silly thing to do. *cough-cough*.

So that's why we say....
"Thank you, Team America!"

Phew....
Well if that isn't free speech, I don't know what is. Now I'm off to bed and will quite likely have uncomfortable dreams about the feds knocking on my door and asking me rather pointed questions regarding my political opinions. Fun!

Nighty night everyone, and in all seriousness.... Happy Independence Day!

-SuperMatty out

Images Stolen From: IMDB, Ace Clipart

PS: Star Wars fans, please don't come and threaten me with your toy lightsabres - I was only joking.
PPS: USA fans, please don't come and threaten me with your toy democracies - I was only joking.

Are we there yet?

2006-06-16T15:27:00.000+10:00

Okey dokey, this here is the first post for my thrilling new corner of online pointlessness (ta-da!).

I'm Matt and I'll be your guide, except I'm going to be one of those useless guides who doesn't know what they're talking about and you wish you hadn't bothered paying them.*

Boy oh boy, are we in for some fun.... time for a picture!

<<-- Please note the snazzy red shoes, I changed my colour pallette in Microsoft Paint just to get this special effect.
Fans of the site so far: shortly I will be releasing a collector's first edition of this blog in which there is a special feature on the making of this picture that will thinly justify the increased price tag.
If that doesn't make you scream 'zowee', then I've severely misjudged my readership (currently hovering at zero).

OK, I admit it... you'd have thought that I would actually have something to say in my inaugural message.... but I don't. How counter-culture of me (or something). Counter-culture is still cool, right?

That's enough foolishness for one post... enjoy the ride, keep your appendages inside the vehicle, and never run with scissors unless you're really really really in a hurry (or maybe if you are Edward Scissorhands or something).

-SuperMatty signing off.

*"This dude is hopeless, I could do a better tour than he can - give me that brochure - whose idea was it to come here anyway? I'm tired, I'm cold, I'm hungry, I want to go home, our last holiday was way cooler, we should have just gone to Disneyland, ARE WE THERE YET, whine whine whine........" Oh yes, this trip is going to be a cracker.